He is running. Along an unknown path. No moonlight. No sound.
He doesn’t know how long he has been running, he doesn’t know whether he is thirsty, hungry or not. He is running, sweating, and clapped-out. There’s no aim, there’s one way. Run, run, and keep running. He is escaping.
Slight, warm, yellow light comes along the road. It’s a log cabin. And smell of Chicken soup. He swallowed hard. He knew the smell. It’s mum’s.
As a criminal, he is crazy, but as an escaped one, he knew he should be cautious. But the aroma is so attractive. He can’t resist it. He is moving forward, with fear, hunger and a worn out body. By the time to knock the door, he fell down, without consciousness.
“Thank god, you finally came around! Honey, come and bring the soup. Hurry up!” An old lady’s face showed up. His heart suddenly beat once. If I came back to my hometown, mum should be this age already. “Time for yummy soup~!” a happy voice came out. His brain followed his stomach. Mum, yeah, mum. It’s mum’s soup, it’s mum’s smell.
Tears are falling down. Why? He asked himself. He thought he had forgotten all in that remote village, he thought he loves money. That’s why he followed Qiang, a guy in his hometown who is believed had a lot of money. But after he came to the big city, he just knew that Qiang, is a theft. He wanted to refuse at the first time, but when seeing money could be get that easy, he accepted. Every time he picked money which doesn’t belong to him, he though he was happy. Even if he was arrested into the prison, he thought he would never regretted. But why, his heart hurts when tasting the chicken soup, his tears came out when watching the old couple taking care of him? He is confused. They might out of their mind, he thought. If not, why they’re so kind to a stranger, even a dangerous one? “Have a good rest, kid. There is a long way to go. ” a gentle voice came from the old lady.
He suddenly realized, way, yes, I have a long way to go. I’m still young, I’m still healthy, my life is in my hand, my history should be written by myself! He made up his mind firmly: I don’t want to be running after any more, tomorrow, I’ll go to the police, giving myself up. For the first time in his life, he felt peaceful.
The sky is still gloomy outside, but the twilight will come, in a very short time.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
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As a matter of fact, when I finished reading the fourth paragraph,I had already guessed out the final result. And there are some misuses of tenses in the article. So I tentatively suggest you to think of an amazing ending and check your tenses after finishing your writing. However, the story is very interesting, interesting enough to hold my concentration. And you are very good at describing the environment and the psychology of the character. Through the vivid details, I can visualize every scene of the story. You have real talent for story telling. As far as I’m concerned, this article is pretty good.
ReplyDeleteyou have done good job. it make me just can not wait seeing the movie "twilight".
ReplyDeleteRespond Zhang Liang:Thanks for you comments. Grammer is always my weakness, I'm trying to overcome it. And the ending....I think it's ok. It's not the problem that I cannot think something unexpected, my point is that I don't want to. I just wanna talk about a simple, maybe a little boring story, about love, and that's all enough. If you want to see something unusual, just wait for my next blog, I guess.
ReplyDeleteI thought the movie “Twilight” is about the love story between a vampire and a human. I am so addicted to vampire stories that I finished reading your story. But it seems that it has nothing to with vampires. Though I’m a little disappointed, I still appreciate your story since your story is a very catchy and well-organized one. I'm looking forward to your next blog now.
ReplyDeletewell done. it is a long time since i read an excelent story as yours. i think your sructure is perfect. i can't help reading along to see what will happen next. and i think it is a heart-warming srory which can touch my hear deeply. i am looking for your next masterpiece
ReplyDeleteCan we often read your new blog, They're interesting. Selecting topics widely and seriously as you are free.
ReplyDelete