At the beginning of the bridging course in February, I was reading the book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. I was ashamed to admit that I have not finished it yet. Nevertheless, I truly learned some knowledge for our mental well-being which we Chinese students used to neglect in the past. Look at the following statements and check if you have experience some of them:
●Withdrawal or social problems: preferring to be alone; being secretive, sulking a lot, lacking energy, feeling unhappy, being overly dependent;
●Anxious and depressed: being lonely, having many fears and worries, needing to be protected, feeling unloved, feeling nervous or sad and depressed
●Attention or thinking problems: unable to pay attention or sit still, daydreaming, acting without thinking, being too nervous to concentrate, doing poorly on school work, unable to get mind off thoughts.
●Delinquent or aggressive: hanging around kids who get into trouble, lying and cheating, arguing a lot, being mean to other people, demanding attention, destroying other people’s things, disobeying at home and at school, being stubborn and moody, talking too much, teasing a lot, having a not temper.
I felt sorry after reading some chapters which include self-awareness, self-discipline and empathy and reveal the answer to the question what it means to be smart? The reason why I felt sorry is that though this book was published in 1996, Chinese teenagers have never being exposed to this kind of idea about emotional intelligence. Unlike many western students, back in China in high school ,I personally had no access to these classic psychological books. Our teachers had never introduced these books to us, though Daniel Goleman is already a household name for the westerners.
We are only encouraged to study hard and pursue academic success. However, nowadays, it is impossible to stay highly motivated unless you can distinguish your feelings well and can identify the signals of emotional malaise. Only in this way can we adjust to the modern society and cope with the stress.
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Actually, the symptoms you refer to seem far from us, maybe because we have not confronted with obstacles. The English intensive course seem not so challenging as the life after we enter NUS. Anyway we had better make preparation about emotional malaise, for everything cannot be always smooth. Another thing is that once something annoying happens we should remember we are not alone. Some people may choose to turn to friends for help, while others choose to face it by themselves. As my experience, turning to good books which refresh you is helpful. Let the fresh thought from somebody wise remove the sediment in your mind, just as what you have done. Thank you so much for reminding us of the problems we may have to face in the future.
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