The face of my wristwatch stares back at me blankly: it's already 20 minutes past midnight.I’m now in February 2nd 2009 celebrating my 19th birthday by typing my second blog in front of the PC. Now I am far from my hometown, no birthday cake, no candles, no relatives. My roommates have all gone to sleep. Well,maybe it’s an ideal time for me to do some reflections.
Yesterday I went to a church, actually only 15 hours ago. Although I am a free thinker, I was curious about how the church service is conducted. You know, the Praise, the Prayer etc. Before I went there, I had expected myself to be refined by an evocative Pastoral Prayer. However, to my dismay, I soon found myself completely lost in his speech due to the sad fact that my vocabulary is unbelievably poor. What’s worse, when my local friend Grace introduced her friends to me and we gathered to chat, I felt extremely out of place. I was ashamed that I kept on stammering when I discovered that a Vietnamese girl could speak so fluently and naturally. I never had such a strong feeling that I am an outsider. To be honest, it’s a sharp blow to me to realize how incompetent I am in using English as a communication tool in Singapore
Like most of the Sm3 students, I am pampered. Every day, I go to classes with my Chinese fellow students, eat with them and chat with them. English is only used in class. I am surrounded by familiar people, familiar language and familiar customs. How can you be motivated to push yourself to limit learning English if the people in your circle are all Chinese? We seldom encounter cultural shock.
At the beginning, it was better. We were eager to use English in public places. However after realizing that the servicemen will speak Chinese to us, I no longer wanted to go into the troublesome situation where I must express myself in an unfamiliar language which made me feel stupid. We take the chance to speak Chinese for granted.If I make no change to my attitude, my English will soon degenerate let alone make any progress.
I take my birthday as a turning point. I am growing older, mature and reflective. I must be responsible for my study and my life. Unlike the time before, when I was oversaw by my parents to achieve certain goal, now I have a strong desire to think for myself, to be more initiative. Though there is nobody to supervise you, you should make diligence a habit.
First I want to say “Happy birthday!” to you, though it’s late.
ReplyDeleteThen in fact I have the same feeling with you. Though we are in an English speaking country but we can and do communicate in Chinese. This certainly makes our daily live easier but also makes our improvement in English slower. During my first two weeks here, I tried to express what I have in mind in English. But I found that although I can speak out in English, I can’t understand what they said because of their accent or speed. So now I always communicate with others in Chinese. But I know I shouldn’t waste the chances of practicing English, and we should get accustomed to their ways of speaking. Maybe we can first try to speak English with friends and then with sellers in shops and restaurants and at last totally change our language.
Sorry to say Happy birthday so late. In fact, it's so cool to celebrate your birthday by writing a blog as an assignment. By the way, you should have enough sleep especially on your big day.
ReplyDeleteAs for English study, my situation is much worse than yours. When I entered a Mcdonald of Singapore for the first time, I was so embarrassed because I can't even catch the word "upsize" which is seldom used in China. According to my SM2 friend who passed AP, we won't have much trouble in English after we enter college. We will do much better eventually. So I think you shouldn't worry about it especially when you had such great English education back in China.
All in all, I wish you good luck in Singapore. Enjoy your best youth here!
Belated Happy Birthday, Liusi.
ReplyDeleteWell,as the saying goes, 'better late than never'.Now that you have realised, snatch every opportunity to use English. Before long you too will be speaking as fluently as the ones you look up to!
Very soon, I will spend my birthday in Sinapore,alone. Even though it was not what I expected for a lousy birthday, I have to accept the undisputable fact that I am alone here. Surrounded by familiar Chinese people, speaking familiar Chinese language, I still feel vacant inside. Just as what you have mentioned, we are outsiders no matter in terms of the language or the race. English is a headache, although I do not want to admit, for most of us. I guess we can not demand for a sudden sharp improvment in such a short time. What we need to do is to struggle and survive. Without doubt, we are going to be assimilated into this culture, sooner or later, depending on how hard you do.
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